Old Man
by Joan Byrne
(from Caught in Amber)
Willie couldn’t breathe. He sat up in bed and turned on his oxygen machine. As he grabbed the mask and sucked in the plastic air, the slow hiss faded away, leaving his bedroom totally silent. The bloody thing wasn’t working again, what was he going to do now? Four in the morning, he’d no choice, but to call an ambulance. He didn’t care what they said.
‘Hello’ croaked Willie, ‘I need an ambulance’. The operator put him on hold as she tried to connect him. Willie took a fit of coughing and it took him a few minutes to get his voice back. ‘I’m having an asthma attack, you’ve got to help me, I need oxygen, and I’m all alone’. The ambulance service eventually got his details and told him one was on the way.
He remembered the days when Eileen was alive. She would have got up and made him a cup of tea and they would have talked until the crows flew, almost silently, over the sky and gradual daylight calmed his anxiety. She had collapsed in the back garden while carrying in a bucket of coal. He’d been calling her, as he could hear the whistling kettle screaming in the kitchen. He uses a pot to boil his water now and the kettle sits silently on the back of the cooker.
He’d get the nurse to ring Declan in England. That would put the frighteners on him. He hadn’t been to see Willie since the funeral. Ungrateful bastard. He came running home when Eileen was in hospital but didn’t care that Willie was too sick to go and see her. And he better not bring that stupid wife with him or those two surly brats, no manners, no respect for their elders. They wouldn’t be getting their hands on this house. He’d made sure of that.
Willie struggled to put on a clean vest and to move the bucket he used for spits and constant piddles to the corner of the bedroom. He stashed his few bob under the mattress because the home help was due in the morning. He was convinced she was robbing him; the last time she did his shopping she didn’t bring back the receipt, lost it she said. He knew better. She drove him mad with her cheerful chatter and the way she clattered around the house. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to stomach that mush that passes for a dinner from the meals on wheels people for a while. Yesterday’s dinner was in the fridge, uneaten.
Willie lit up a cigarette and looked out the window for the ambulance. The neighbours wouldn’t notice what was going on. He could be dead for all they cared. He would have to throw the keys out the window; he wouldn’t be able to make it down the stairs.
‘Well, Hello again Willie. Just calm down, you’ll be all right’ said the ambulance man. ‘ We’ll get you up to the hospital. Hope you’re prepared for a long wait. Casualty is packed out tonight. Just put your slippers on, that’s it, sit in the chair, we’ll carry you down the stairs, we’ll take care of you’.
‘Mr. Brennan, are you awake’, said the nurse.
Willie had been on a trolley for ten hours. When he arrived at the hospital the casualty department was like a war zone. Drunks littered the corridors and car accident victims were rushed past him for urgent treatment. They had given him oxygen and he was still waiting to see a doctor.
‘Mr. Brennan we are going to move you into a cubicle now’, said the nurse, ‘and a doctor will be with you shortly’.
The doctor opened Willie’s file as he examined him.
‘I see you have emphysema’, he said.
‘I can’t detect any infection but we’ll get some blood tests organised. I’ll be back to you when we get the results back from the lab’.
The nurse came to take Willie’s blood and made him comfortable in the bed.
‘Do you think they’ll send me to St. Joseph’s ward?’ said Willie.
‘The nurses were very nice to me there last time, and if I go soon I’ll be in time for tea’.
‘Lets wait and see’, said the nurse.
Angie was just putting the phone down as Declan came in from work.
‘That was the hospital in Dublin’, she said.
‘Your father’s in casualty and they left a phone number for you to ring’.
‘Is he alright?’ said Declan.
‘They said he was very distressed when he came in but he’s comfortable now and he was waiting to see a doctor’. Declan stood numbly holding his briefcase.
‘Well are you going to ring them?’ asked Angie.
Declan said nothing and turned to go upstairs to change. Angie sighed at his troubled face. She’d just leave him alone for a bit, she decided.
Declan sat on the edge of his bed. This was all he needed; he’d had a particularly bad meeting with his Sales Manager that morning. They had raised the quotas again even though he was working ten-hour days to reach the present ones. Angie came quietly into the bedroom and sat beside him on the bed.
‘Are you OK?’ She asked.
‘You look very stressed. I’m sure he’ll be fine, it’s probably his asthma again, he got over it before’.
‘You’ve no idea, have you?’ said Declan.
‘Well I know you’re probably worried about him and being so far away doesn’t help, said Angie.
Declan put his head in his hands and took a deep breath.
‘He killed her you know. She spent her whole life looking after him. I remember when I was a kid, he would come in from the pub and Mam would jump up to get his dinner. I would run to bed and hear him shouting. She would hide her bruises from me but I always knew. That’s why I had to get away as soon as I could. I’ll never understand why she stayed with him. I used to try and tell her but she’d never listen. But he’s not well, she’d say, and look what happened. I can’t do it anymore; I can’t pretend to care about him. He’s always been sick. I really believe he only married my mother because his own mother died. Even when Mam had her heart attack he was “too sick” to go and see her in hospital. She died three days later and all he could say was what was he going to do without her. I’m not going over to see him this time. I can’t forgive him.’
Willie sat up in bed when he saw the doctor making his way over to him. He hoped they would give him pyjamas when he got up to the ward and maybe give him a bath and a shave.
‘Hello Mr. Brennan’, said the Doctor.
‘We’ve got the blood tests back and it’s good news. There is no infection and you can go home’.
The doctor went on to talk about getting a health nurse to call to his house. But Willie was no longer listening. He closed his eyes and cursed under his breath.